the faint of heart

PC is not for the faint of heart.

Often, you get zero support from your country counterparts. You care more than do the people themselves. You try your best but things still don`t work out. And what little that does work out is critized and taken apart.

This week I went to a different outlying community every day to give charlas on HIV/AIDS.. I must have walked something like 20+ miles. The first day was to Carrizal. Only one person showed up at the charla but we gave it anyway, to educate at least that one person, and get some practice in for the youth health promoters.

The second day was El Cerro. The doctor in charge of the HIV/AIDS program at the health center was supposed to accompany me, but she didn`t show up. And didn`t bother telling me that she wasn`t going to show up. So I waited an hour, then went alone. I met up with the promoters that live in the community. Nobody showed up to attend the charla. Finally, we rounded up some random kids and gave it to them. Because we started later than planned, by the time we finished, it was getting dark. I ran all the way home down the mountain, maybe 2 miles, debating whether walking quietly and unnoticed would protect me better against rapists and thieves. By the time I got back safely into town and my adrenaline stopped flooding my system, I noticed that my legs were jelly and I couldn`t tell whether it was out of fear or exertion.

The third day was Las Pozas. I woke up with legs so sore I could hardly get to the latrine. The HIV/AIDS doctor doesn`t show up, again. To get to the community was twenty minutes in a bus, then 50min walking. We get there and nobody shows up. Either the doctor who told me he invited didn`t invite, or he invited and nobody could/wanted to come. Also, we find out that the high school in the community just changed their schedule from morning to afternoon, so all the youth was in school. We left.

The fourth day (today) was La Honda. One of the promoters that was supposed to give the charla with me didn`t show up. Rather, I saw him in the street and he acted dumb and said he thought the charla was Tomorrow. Thankfully, I had the foresight to sign up two other promoters, knowing in advance that he was irresponsible. I limp my way to the community, about a 40 min walk. The uphills were much kinder than the down, since none of the muscles that allow me to go down stairs or down a slope were functioning. My knees buckled randomly and my hips ached as my unnatural gait placed undue pressure on them. When we finally get there, we discover that the health brigade worker that was supposed to invite the youth did not invite. Again, we round up random kids on the street and give them the charla. I didn`t buy refreshments because I couldn`t walk and because the two youth giving the charla with me were in a rush to another activity. (refreshments help ensure that youth will return to your charlas, hence their importance). Being the perfectionist that I am, I got upset that we didn`t give refreshments, but there was no time. There was the painful walk back to embark upon! All I wanted to do then was call my sitemate or fellow volunteer and VENT, but of Course there was no cellphone signal in the community where we were. So I limped back, reminding myself that I am only human, I tried my best, and that`s that. At least we educated Some youth, no?

Tomorrow my sitemate and I will head to León for a weekend vacation to the beach. I cannot wait, it is just what I need. 

I just hope I´ll physically be able to get out of bed and board that bus!